Party of the century (2010 version)

Eric Butow: My meds have kicked in and I'm feeling no pain. Has the party started yet?

W

Wei-Jen Harrison: The mysterious Orient has curative techniques that vastly exceed the power of mere drugs. I can tell you the secret!

She appears to be whispering it in his ear. Amazing! His endorphin levels seem elevated already!

Jim Walker warms up the crowd by sharing a witty joke with Andrew Hansen and Phil Smith.

Phil gets it! The evening is off to a good start.

Kandace Knudsen: Look out, folks. Those guys behind me can't be up to any good.

It seems that Kandace has a point.

Tony Barcellos: Take a word of advice from your senior colleague, boys. Always look high for your goals!

Brandon Muranaka: How high? I don't see any!

Brandon continues his quest for wisdom. He consults with Peter Horton, Jane de León, and Ted Ridgway.

Brandon: Tony says things are looking up, but I'm confused.

Ted: This is a well-known byproduct of talking with Tony.

Jane: Oh, tell me about it!

Peter H: Won't your eyeballs get stuck if you keep rolling them up like that?

Peter Faure: Look, Pamela is a nurse, okay? I know all there is to know about the dangers of fatty foods and fried appetizers, okay? Just learn to accept that I am the boss and I can do what I want. Got it?

Peter F: Oh, hello, dear! I was just warning these nice people about the unhealthy appetizers. These are just for demonstration purposes.

Pamela Faure: I know, Peter. I heard. You have a bit of dipping sauce on your beard, sweetheart.

Nancy Reitz: No, really, Ted. It's like those years when you were department chair are the good old days.

Ted: That's funny. These years right now when I'm not department chair seem like the good old days.

Wei-Jen: Oh, look, another big strong man in the room! How women must flock to you!

Tim Feldman: That's okay. I'm used to it.

David Tribble: Say, you guys are new this year, aren't you?

Glee Johnson: Yes, it's our first time.

David T: I've been to several. I keep hoping that one of them will be a good one.

Greg Geeting: Maybe you have a slight learning disability. Are you perchance one of Tony's students?

Dog1 (Cowan): Hey, I like your outfit.

Dog2 (Gage): It kills me that we wore the same thing.

Eileen Hyland: If we sit down, maybe the dinner can get started.

Tony: Good luck. I've been sitting here for half an hour and nobody's noticed.

Aileen McGarry: Yeah, it's true. Blondes do glow in the dark. And I'm not even lit yet!

Glee: I'm not used to dinner parties dominated by math professors.

Wei-Jen: Wait till we take it to infinity!

Hostess: We can't get dinner started until everyone is sitting down.

Phil: I'm doing the strong, silent thing. Looking good!

Tony: How much is this going to cost me?

Hostess: Hey, you're the chump who went for a hosted bar!

Eileen: I think they may be having more fun at the other table.

Ted: Why did Tony put me next to an English professor?

Kandace: Why did Tony put me next to a math professor? And does Ted really want me to help him with a math joke?

Ted: Hey, look, Tony! It's five and nine!

Kandace: Yeah, Tony. It's how old you are!

Ted: No, it actually adds up to 14. That's Tony's mental age.

Peter H: Wow. Jane has to work with these people on a daily basis. Explains a lot.

Ted: Got to keep the ball rolling. What's another good math joke?

Benjamin: It's true. I skipped high school and I'm one of Tony's former students.

Socorro Tril: Oh, you poor thing, you!

Pamela: No, it's true. Peter has my complete permission to tell people he's the boss.

Sandy McKaig: Not to change the subject, but I'm training a dog as a companion animal.

Pamela: You're not really changing the subject.

Peter H: You know, if I wore a hearing aid I could turn it down. Worse luck.

Although unaccustomed to wine or strong drink, Wei-Jen offers a toast.

David Murray: So that's really the secret of the universe?

Alan Willendrup: No kidding. At least, that's what Wei-Jen said.

Alan: I'm not sure he's buying it.

Tony: Let the ritual reading of the birthday cards begin!

Peter F: It's just an excuse for a speech.

Phil: He stuffed our guts, now it's time to stuff our ears.

Tim: He'll tell the same jokes as last year. I just know it.

Tony: Your card says my fondest wish will come true tonight.

Richard Katz: No doubt about it, but you must open the package that came with the card.

Tony: A life-size portrait of Richard! My dreams have indeed come true!

Eric: To think that we were privileged to be here on this occasion!

Jane: Oh, Tony is going to tell a joke!

Maria Feldman: Better brace yourself!

Jane: Oh, dear. I can't believe he said that!

Maria: Ha! Saw it coming a mile away!

Tony: Keep passing the cards along, gentlemen.

Richard: None of these are as funny as mine!

Rob Roy Woodman: Not all of us have faces as suited for humor as you do, Richard.

Andrew: I think they put me at the kids' table by mistake.

Wei-Jen takes advantage of the confusion in the room to strike her significant other's dinner companion.

Wei-Jen: Vengeance is mine!

Aileen: It's Tony's fault that I'm sitting next to Alan!

Aileen plays dueling cameras with an unidentified rival.

Rob Roy: I'm a highly trained psychologist, so it's all right if I make funny faces at the camera. Not as funny as Richard's, of course, but I try. There's a reason I never miss these dinners.

Rachel Rosenthal: Hey, look, Melissa. He's pointing the camera at someone other than Wei-Jen!

Melissa Green: It's about time!

Nancy: I'm Tony's boss in the math department.

Greg: You have my sympathies. I could tell you how he terrorized our boss at the Commission on State Finance.

Steve Rosenthal: Every year we get more proof that age and maturity have very little to do with each other. (Will it be a math joke if I say "QED" now? Better ask Rachel.)

Dan Kehew applies to dessert the acquisition skills that brought the United States Bicycling Hall of Fame to Davis.

Some secret admirer photographs Phil's butt as a souvenir.

The End